Ok, ok, I know you haven't heard from me in a few months. Frankly, I haven't been in the mood to blog or style any outfits for that matter. I remember thinking to myself that the minute I got pregnant I was going to be one of those bloggers styling lots of preggo looks, but that was not the case for me and till this day, I get a little bit down because of it. Partly, it had to do with the fact that the first three months of my pregnancy were less than fun, I was going through a miserable time. A few weeks after I found out I was pregnant, I began what seemed a never ending horror roller coaster of nausea, vomiting, mood swings, sensitivity to smell and migraines. I had always heard of morning sickness, but I was not at all prepared for what had come, though my symptoms were technically more of night sickness, that's when they would kick in at full force, it was still an all day event. I began to loose weight, nothing was appetizing and even when I did try, I would vomit it all out, there was very few things that I could eat that would not trigger nausea and that was probably the worst of all the symptoms, because if there is one thing I've always enjoyed, is eating. I also stopped cooking for that period of time, I couldn't take the smell of food, my husband could barely prepare anything for himself because I would complain about the smell and he would get frustrated.
The second worst thing was the mood swings I was experiencing, I felt so down, this was especially hardest being away from family, I remember wanting to have my mom around, because I thought, surely she would understand the situation better than the hubby. On top of it, we had just moved into a new home in Frankfurt and I was not to thrilled about it, I didn't like the energy or flow of the home, so that also made me feel so down. I would cry for just about anything and would get irritated at things that I normally would just brush off, this was hardest on the hubby. He was also not prepared for any of this, being that this is my first pregnancy, he nor I knew anything about it other then what you hear from friends in passing and we all know that when your mind is not on the baby making train, all those talks go one ear out the other. He became really worried for me, but also frustrated, I can tell even though he would try his best to not show that he was. He struggled at first to understand what I was going through, I myself was struggling to understand, I barely could handle myself, imagine trying to ask someone else to be able to handle you. I never expected this whole experience to be like this, I kept praying that this would only last three months as my OB would tell me, he reassured me it would pass, but I would occasionally hear from friends that they experienced it the whole pregnancy and that would scare the hell out of me. The hubby started getting better about the whole situation when a colleague at work explained to him that his wife went through the same thing, I guess having a buddy who he could relate things with helped him realize I wasn't going crazy, that this was all a normal thing for some pregnant women.
I swear that it all stopped the day I reached the three months, it was like some crazy magic spell or something. I slowly regained my appetite, mood swings were moving along with the passing wind and life started to feel good again, I saw the happy light at the end of the tunnel. Luckily for the hubby and I, things after that were smooth sailing. I started to have that glow that everyone talks about, that face of happiness that radiates and makes people smile. I still get the occasional headache and back pains but there is nothing to complain about any longer.
I decided to share this very personal rough patch with you all, in hopes that this helps any of you beautiful expectant mothers and those who are on the baby making train, because things are not always what you see and I know for myself, I felt guilty and ashamed a bit of what I was feeling but when I started to open up about it, people would share their experience and it all felt more normal. I also was told that if you have really bad morning sickness or symptoms like mine, it's an indication that the baby and you will be in good health, so that made me feel so much better. Anyway, what I am trying to say here is, don't feel bad, ashamed or embarrassed this is all part of pregnancy, some women go through it and others don't and that is OK.
Feel beautiful and happy, that is all that counts.